- Part One -

The agents of GUN have gathered to celebrate Shadow's one-year anniversary as an agent.  Everyone is dressed in all of their finery and are laughing, chatting, eating, and dancing the night away.  Up in one of the balconies, SHADOW and the COMMANDER stand surveying the scene like a pair of hawks.

COMMANDER   Are you excited?

SHADOW   Why does everyone keep asking that?

COMMANDER  It's a big night for you.

SHADOW  How? The invitations didn't say anything beyond 'dress formally and be in the reception hall at eight on an empty stomach.'  <---- italics indicate slightly higher pitch

COMMANDER  Speaking of which, you'll be pleased to hear that we got some of your favorite restaraunts to cater. Colonel Chang's Taco Italiano and What the Fudge? if I remember correctly. Oh, and do try the bacon-wrapped filet mingion. It's absoultely to die for.

SHADOW's mind is elsewhere. While preparing for this evening's festivities, he had noticed that the lock of Maria's hair was missing. He appears uneasy and apprehensive.

COMMANDER  Oh, there are your friends.

The COMMANDER points to the right of the refreshments table. SONIC, TAILS, ROUGE, AMY, CREAM, and CHEESE are gathered together, laughing about something.

COMMANDER  Why not welcome them?  <---- Phrased like a suggestion, voiced as an order.

SHADOW descends the stairs and reluctantly strides over as SONIC delivers the punchline to a joke.

SONIC  And then Chris died!

The group erupts in laughter.

CREAM  Oh, Mr. Shadow!  Congratulations!  <---- Cream's lines are squealed, sort of like her Sonic X VA did it, but less annoying.

SHADOW  Er, thank you, Cream. 

He turns to SONIC.

SHADOW  Don't you have anything better to do?

SONIC  Not really. Things have been fairly quiet ever since Eggman got that movie deal.

AMY  Shadow, why can't you just be happy that my darling Sonikku decided to bring me and Cream to your party?

TAILS  (mumbles)  Um, I'm here too...

AMY  You're ruining our date!

SONIC  Amy, how many times do I have to tell you-

AMY  (interrupts)  How do you like my dress, Sonikku? I bought it in Chibi Japan at that store beside that really boring flower shop!

SONIC  Oh, Shadow and I were at that flower shop this afternoon.

AMY  You bought me flowers? That's so sweet of you! Where are they?

SONIC  Uh, Amy? They weren't exactly for you...

AMY  Oh, I see... (AMY's voice turns ice cold and a fire seems to ignite in her eyes)  Who were they for, then?

SONIC  Dunno.  We were sent by GUN on a mission.

AMY  GUN sent you on a mission! That's so, like, awesome! But you'll buy me flowers next time, right Sonikku?

SONIC  Uh...

SHADOW  What is this whole thing about, anyway?

ROUGE  You really don't know?  It's your one-year anniversary, Shadow.

TAILS  GUN agents are notorious for either dying in their first year or going AWOL.  Since you can't do one, they're celebrating that you haven't done the other.

SHADOW  Then why haven't I been assigned to do anything serious yet?

TAILS  Beats me.

AMY  It's too bad Knuckles couldn't make it.  He said that he had to go guard the Master Emerald again...

SONIC  (somewhat nervously)  And you're suprised?  That's sort of his job, Amy. Speaking of which...

CREAM  Ooooh! Miss Blaze! Your dress is so pretty!

CHEESE  Chao chao!

BLAZE saunters over.

BLAZE  Thank you, Cream.  Yours is lovely, too.

SHADOW  (snarls)  And just what are you doing here?

BLAZE  Don't mind me, I'm just following the plotted line like everyone else.

SONIC  Long time no see, Blaze.  Glad to see that you're doing well. How's Silver?

BLAZE  Who?

SONIC  Oh, right- time paradox. Er, how's Marine?

BLAZE  I haven't spoken to her since you and Tails left.

SONIC  I can't blame you.

The COMMANDER is now onstage with a microphone in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other.

COMMANDER  Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished mammals and chao...

SONIC  Oh, dude- before I forget...

SONIC quickly pulls a tiny slip of paper from one of his gloves, the same one from lunch that afternoon. SHADOW takes it begrudgingly and opens it. You will reunite with an old friend tonight, the message inside reads.

SHADOW  I don't have any...

COMMANDER  Tonight, we have gathered to honor one of our own. He has selflessly given his time to our cause, and we cannot thank him enough for that.

Wild applause erupts throughout the massive room.

COMMANDER  Shadow, we would like to congradulate you on your one-year anniversary with us here at GUN, and also apologize for our lack of trust at the beginning. I hope that this will more than make up for that. Do you still have the bouquet that you picked up this afternoon?

Shadow nods, confused, and picks up the bouquet from the table from where it sat. The Commander beckons to someone behing the stage curtains.

COMMANDER  He's ready to see you now.

A small girl of about twelve or so steps out. She had the same dreamy blue eyes, the same thick, silky blonde hair, the same exact eyes as...

SHADOW  Ma- Maria?

MARIA  Oh, Shadow... it's so good to see you again!

She leans over slightly and wraps her arms gently around the speechless hedgehog.

SHADOW  Maria? How- (cuts off)

He couldn't think, he couldn't breathe...

- End of Part One -

- Part Two -

Flashback sequence.

PROF. GERALD  Now wake up, up, up, up...

SHADOW  Huh? What-

PROF. GERALD  Now wake up, up, up, up...

SHADOW  Professor Gerald...?

PROF. GERALD  Shadow, what you did was very brave...

PROF. GERALD looms over SHADOW like a tower. They were in some room that SHADOW didn't recognize. It seemed to be some sort of lab, but it wasn't PROF. GERALD's. Looking down, SHADOW realized that he was tied to something. He was in some sort of tube, so drowsy that he could barely put a single thought together.

PROF. GERALD Shadow, I'm sorry to tell you this, but...

SHADOW  I know Professor. (Voice cracks slightly, but not too much) I- I saw.

PROF. GERALD  Do you know where we are now?

SHADOW  No.

PROF. GERALD  We are on GUN's Prison Island.

SHADOW  Island- like the ones on Earth?

PROF. GERALD  Shadow, we are on Earth. The military captured your escape pod and transported both of us here. The military was afraid of my work. The military are the ones that killed her and most of the researchers and their children. I need you to listen carefully to me, and never forget what I tell you. I don't know how long they're going to keep us here. It may be for another week, a few years, or only a few more hours. They say that they are merely trying to do what is right, but how is slaying innocent children and their researchers in cold blood right? Everybody tries to be straight, but things are still unchanged. It's useless to resist; their efforts will be wasted. Head straight for your goal by any means, there is a door that remains unopened. There is a window with a view you have never seen. Get there, no matter how long it takes. I don't care what happens to me anymore. Without Maria, my life has no purpose. I want you to make the world feel my wrath. I want you to make them feel the same terror and fear that she felt. I want you to kill every. single. last. one. of them. And if that doesn't work, I have another trick up my sleeve- the Eclipse Cannon. It's aboard the ARK in the central control room. If you need the manual, ask some of the Artificial Chaos. They should be able to help you out. Good luck to you, my son.

He shakes Shadow's hand and places some sort of class lid on top of the tube. All goes quiet once more.

- End of Part Two -

- Part Three -

MARIA  Shadow, I'm so sorry! Please wake up!

SONIC  He'll be fine, Maria. He's just being a drama queen as always. Really, Shadow? We bring the reason for your existence back from the dead and you faint? Dude...

MARIA  Thank you for taking care of him for all these years, Sonic. My poor Shaddykins...

SONIC  My pleasure, Maria. Ol' Shaddykins wouldn't have made it this long without my help.

Shadow's eyes immediately open.

SHADOW  WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU FAKER?

MARIA  Shadow! You're alright!

MARIA immediately gives SHADOW an attack hug and showers him with kisses.

MARIA  I'm so sorry!

SHADOW  It's fine, Maria. It isn't your fault. In fact, I'm sorry about my reaction. This is just... shocking. Where are we?

MARIA  The infirmary. You took quite a bump to the head when you fell.

SONIC  Not quite as bad as the one he took a year or so ago.

SONIC takes a seat on the edge of Shadow's cot.

MARIA (gasps) What happened?

SONIC  I'll have to tell you about it later- it's a long story.

MARIA  I like stories!

SHADOW  (snarls)  If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone with Maria for a bit.

SONIC  Shadow, dude! That's just... wrong on so many levels!

SHADOW  Not like that, you perverted pincushion...

SONIC  Suit yourself.

SONIC slides off the cot and strolls out the door.

SONIC  If you guys need anything, feel free to ask Tails.  I can't take this anymore.

MARIA  What have you been doing all this time?

SHADOW  Well, like he said, it's a bit of a long story...

- Insert "Three fantabulous to downright embarrassing games later..." screen to video with 'Sonic got a Chaos Emerald' sound effect

MARIA  Wow, it took three games just to get it all sorted out?

SHADOW  Unfortunately. The last one wasn't even all that great- the only memorable thing about it was how over-the-top it was. Oh, and the homing attack will end up killing you 90% of the time, so be smart and use weapons.

MARIA  Alright. How are you feeling?

SHADOW  Much better, thank you.

MARIA  Great! Let's go back to the party, then!

SHADOW  It's still going on? How long was I out for?

MARIA  Long enough to take you here.

SHADOW  ...Fine.

SHADOW pulls himself up and onto his feet. He takes Maria by the arm and they begin to walk back to the reception hall.

SHADOW  So... how exactly did you come back?"

MARIA shakes her head.

MARIA  I'm not quite sure how to explain it. I guess we could ask someone once we get there.

They arrive back at the reception hall. Many of the agents have gathered around the stage, watching SONIC, accompanied by AMY, TAILS, and BLAZE, with fierce admiration and wonder. Onstage, CREAM is hiding inside a top hat that BLAZE is holding.

CREAM  (whispered)  Miss Blaze, I have to go potty!

CHEESE  Chao chao...

BLAZE  Hold it just a little more, Cream. He's starting the trick now.

SONIC  Watch, my friends, as I pull a rabbit out of this hat!

BLAZE hands him the hat with a nervous smile. The blue hedgehog pauses slightly for dramatic effect, then pulls the little rabbit out of the hat by her ears. The crowd claps hysterically.

CREAM  Mr. Sonic, can you put me down, please? This really hurts...

CHEESE  Chao chao chao!

SONIC sets CREAM down quietly.

SONIC  Now for my next trick, I'm going to make this entire bathtub full of chilidogs... DISAPPEAR!

SHADOW  Just what are you doing?  I go unconscious at a party and the minute they haul me off to the infirmary, you start performing magic tricks?

SONIC  ILLUSIONS, Shadow.  <--- this is an allusion to the sitcom Arrested Development.  Please send me a note for a clip of the line so that we can pull it off right!

SHADOW  WHATEVER.

MARIA   Shadow, be nice!  Mr. Sonic went to all this trouble just to keep these people entertained when you were hurt.

SHADOW sighs and tries to regain his composure as SONIC grins gleefully onstage.

SHADOW  Only for you, Maria. Where is the Commander?

SONIC  Beats me.

SONIC hops off the stage with a spin jump.

SONIC  I take it that you'd like to know about your living dead girl?

SHADOW  Yes.

MARIA  Please.

SHADOW  (sigh)  Yes please.

SONIC  Well, she wasn't cloned, but it's the first thing they tried. Then they tried alchemy, but then some short dude with a metal arm and leg came and yelled at them about it, so that was a bust. The rest is classified, but I am allowed to tell you that they used that lock of hair you had as a DNA sample.

SHADOW  ...Alright. I take it that they're keeping it classified so that it doesn't fall into the wrong hands?

SONIC  Let me rephrase that- I know how they did it, but you don't get to know.

SHADOW  WHAT?

SONIC  Yup. Sucks to be you, doesn't it?

SHADOW  Maria, do you mind if I say something er, private, to Sonic?

MARIA  Oh, go right ahead. I'll go get us some dinner. Let's see if I remember your favorites!

MARIA skips happily away to the refreshments table. SHADOW smils to see her off, then regains his normal, cold expression when looking at the snidely grinning blue hedgehog.

SHADOW  I want you to know something.

SONIC  Alrighty then. Go right ahead.

SHADOW  I will find out how she has come back eventually. However, if you EVER do anything like this again, be it acting like a wolf in sheep's clothing to fool Maria or retaining information from me for ANY reason, I will rip that smirk right off your face and wipe the floor with it, along with your dismembered corpse.

SONIC  Just like you say you'll do everyday?

Before SHADOW can reply,MARIA comes back carrying two bowls of baked ziti and a loaf of garlic bread.

MARIA  C'mon, Shadow- let's go find a table!

SHADOW begrudgingly begins to follow, but quickly turns around.

SHADOW  This time I'll let you go, but the next time you won't be so lucky.

- End of Part Three -

- Epilogue -

SONIC is lounging in a large, comfortable chair in front of a fireplace, sipping from a glass of wine.

SONIC  Hello there- I'm world renowned Hollywood legend Sonic T. Hedgehog.  Thank you for watching our elegant little ego trip, and I'm proud to say that there is more on the way.  Shadow the Hedgehog 2: the Revenge of Maria is an ongoing fan fiction series penned by SallysFunnyKiss and can be read on both FanFiction.net and deviantART.  The series has garnered enough attention to warrant its own TV Tropes entry and a reasonably-sized following.  The series is updated every so often, so be sure to give it a read some time.

SONIC leans menacingly into the camera.

SONIC  And if you don't, I will take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner and NEVER CALL HER AGAIN.

SONIC pulls back.

SONIC  You have been warned.

SONIC takes a sip from his glass.

SONIC  Anyway, there is one last thing that the creators of this fine program would like for me to mention.  If you liked this little presentation, go ahead and click that little 'like' button to my bottom left.  If we get at least fifty likes, then maybe the cast and crew will be interested in making another episode.  Until then, spread the word, stay positive, and stay as cool as you are!

- End of Epilogue -